Preventing Sexual Violence Starts with Men
Written by Annalise Trudell, Manager of Education, Training and Research, ANOVA
This past month has been heavy for our London and Western University community, and for survivors across the country. In mid-September survivors shared through social media that they had been sexually assaulted during Frosh Week on campus at Western. This led to an important conversation – one that played out on national media, in classrooms, during the student walk out, and on Anova’s crisis & support line – asking why sexual assault continues to occur at such high rates on campuses, who should bear the blame, and how do we stop the violence. I think this conversation has been helpful and needed, but I do want to highlight a few ways it went off kilter.
Firstly, we have good data on rates of sexual assault on campuses. In a 2019 provincial survey, 1/3 Western students reported being sexually assaulted the previous year[1]. While that number is on the high end, it is representative of what other campuses experienced as well. Clearly, we have a sexual assault problem on campus. But what that really means is that we have a perpetrator problem.
This is uncomfortable. It requires us to confront the fact that it isn’t a few ‘bad apples’; it’s folks that we know, we love, we respect, who are the ones committing sexual assault. In fact, the research points to the fact that between 14-35% of undergraduates will commit a sexual assault[2].
Don’t get me wrong. We should continue to speak out about how common it is to be a survivor. We need to do better at supporting survivors, and so many folks smarter than I have pointed to necessary systemic changes such as survivor-driven support services, police investigative reforms and changes to our court processes. But I think we need to equally point to the source of the problem – perpetrators – and get better at identifying who is likely to engage in sexual assault. There is a reckoning needed with our own complicity in failing to call attention to this side of the equation – my discomfort in thinking it is the men I know and love and that do these harms cannot be allowed to reinforce the narrative that it is a few bad apples. That thinking won’t actually stop the violence.
Instead, we need to focus on creating spaces for men to talk with other men and start to do the work they need to do. Not by finger pointing, but by empathetically highlighting all the pressures around toxic masculinity and how those lead to behaving in harmful ways. By giving space to discuss the challenges they face in implementing consent and handling rejection, and how to call a guy out when he’s behaving harmful and when he’s had too much to drink. Western and Anova have a program called ManMade http://www.anovafuture.org/manmade/ – this type of space needs to be scaled out and get more men engaged.
But for individual male readers right now, you too can help stop sexual violence.
Reflect on how you handle rejection, and whether you’ve ever “pushed through” a rejection to try and win someone over.
Recognize when you see other men pushing past rejection, and intervene to support the target.
Talk to the men in your life about your feelings, lessons you’ve learned, and how you want to do better. Invite them to call you out if they see you step out of line, and they’ll be more open to being called in when they do it too.
[1] Student Voices on Sexual Violence Survey https://ontariosuniversities.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/COU-Student-Voices-Survey-Results_Overview-Feb-27-2020-FINAL.pdf
[2] Abbey, A and McAuslan, P (2004). A longitudinal examination of male college students' perpetration of sexual assault. J Consult Clin Psychol. Oct;72(5):747-56.